Navigating Labor and Birth Expectations
The “perfect” labor and birth story. We all create one in our heads. It’s human nature to wonder, daydream about, and imagine what our journey will be. We read, educate ourselves, and take classes to prepare our minds and body for it. We tour birthing facilities and research providers. We talk to friends and family about their experiences and ask for advice. We gather all this information and we create a vision for what we would like our experience to be. It’s exciting and new and we do everything we can to prepare for our journey!
Our labor and birth is something we will remember for the rest of our lives so we can’t help but hope that everything goes exactly how we envisioned. But why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to perform the act of labor and birth a certain way? We spend so much time looking outward for direction and guidance. What if we looked inward instead and asked ourselves why we want things to go a certain way? Is this really what we want or do we feel pressures and fears from outside sources? Are we expecting too much of ourselves? What if we surrender to our journey and allow it to unfold the way it wants to, and expect nothing else?
Every laboring person experiences and feels labor uniquely within their own mind and body. Yes, every birthing person has the same reproductive organs, but our bodies and minds are all so different. When you think about it that way, doesn’t it seem silly to expect things to go a certain way based on other people’s experiences? What if we listened to our own bodies, learned from our own experience, prepared our bodies depending on what we needed, and nothing more? What if we prepared with open-mindedness and felt excited for whatever may be, instead of being scared of what may or may not be?
The next time you find yourself thinking you’d like things to go a certain way during labor and birth, take a step back and breathe, then remind yourself that it’s ok if it doesn’t. Remind yourself that you really won’t know what you will want or need until you are actually in it. It doesn’t matter if you perceive yourself as someone who is physically strong or physically weak, that does not determine how labor will affect you. Whether this is your first time or you have done it many times before because every labor and birth is different. Be forgiving of yourself and allow yourself to change your mind in the moment, regardless of what others may think and regardless of how you thought it would be. There is no right or wrong way to labor. Do what feels right to you. This is your journey.
The one thing you can expect is that no one else will ever have the same story as you, and that is so special! Own and love your labor and birth story, with all of the unexpected. The unexpected is what makes your story so great and unique. This is your story and your story alone and you will share it with your beautiful family forever. That sounds pretty amazing!
