How to choose Your Doula?
In last month’s blog, I explained why you should hire a Doula and the benefits of having one. This month I would like to explain how to choose your Doula!
First, I would suggest you interview a few different Doulas. Yes, a lot of us have the same qualities, but our personalities can be quite different. Interviewing with a few Doulas gives you the chance to see who you feel most comfortable with. Referrals are sometimes the best way to find a Doula. Ask friends and family if they had a Doula and if they had a good experience and why or why not? Try to figure out what you are looking for in a Doula before you start interviewing.
Things to think about:
Do you want someone who can make you laugh or someone who is serious and to the point?
Do you want someone who is nurturing and has empathy or someone who is fact-driven and there solely for educational purposes?
Are you nervous about childbirth or postpartum and need someone to hold your hand through the whole process, or are you pretty prepared and confident and want someone there for comfort measures and/or extra hands?
Do you have a lot of questions and need a Doula that is patient and explains things in a way you can understand?
Have you had a hard time conceiving and/or gone through multiple IVF attempts and want a Doula who can best support you through that?
Second, what questions should you ask while interviewing a Doula? This may be different depending on what each couple is looking for. Think about what you want and need and base your questions on that. You may want to choose a Doula who is knowledgeable in a certain area. You may want to choose a Doula based on personality and confidence. You may want to choose a Doula who offers birth and postpartum so they can be with you throughout your journey. You may want to choose a Doula who offers lactation support. So think of all the things you are looking for in your Doula and write down your questions!
Here are some question ideas:
Why did you become a Doula?
When and where did you get your training?
What do your services include?
Do you offer additional services?
What does your support look like?
Do you have any strong views on topics I should be aware of?
Do you have any client references I can call?
Third, watch for red flags when interviewing for a Doula. If you leave the interview feeling unsatisfied or confused it is probably not a good sign. Think about what bothered you and send follow-up questions if you need to. You should feel happy, supported, and comfortable with how the conversation went. This does not mean they are not a good Doula, just may not be the right match for you!
Red Flags:
They are imposing their views instead of listening and supporting yours.
They are questioning your birth plan choices.
Something feels off during the interview.
They are interrupting you a lot.
The conversation felt forced.
Doulas are very versatile and we can shift our demeanor depending on what our clients need, but some of our qualities are stronger than others. Usually, when you find your correct Doula match, you know right away. Trust your gut, if something doesn’t feel right, it is probably not the right Doula for you. You may come into a situation where you feel comfortable with more than one Doula. In this case, you can ask follow-up questions and see if you can narrow them down. You can also choose one as your Doula and ask the other one to be the backup for your birth or postpartum services. Doulas are a tight-knit community and we all work together to make sure our clients have the best support possible. There are no hard feelings. We want to feel comfortable with you as well, that is how we can better serve you!
Feeling comfortable with your Doula is most important. No matter what your birth plan choices are or what your vision is, a Doula that is right for you will support you and your decisions and help guide you along the way. These suggestions I shared are to help guide you, but by no means exactly how it needs to be done. Think about you and your family and what you are looking for, the right Doula will come along! Best of luck searching!
